Dance for life

I went to the annual dance recital for Luis Pabon's Dance Arts Center. I've been going to his dance recitals for the last fifteen years. All three of my girls have gone through the school and loved dance classes. Back in 1999 we took a step deeper into the world of dance. Both of my older girls tried out for the competitive dance troupe called Style Extraordinaire. They both made it and that changed our lives forever. Becky didn't stay with it long. She decided to put her energy into NFA's marching band. Sarah, on the other hand, went all out. A few years later, Rachel got involved too. By the time she was in third grade, she was in the troupe too.

For the last ten years our vacations, as well as our weekly schedules have been determined by what was happening at dance. I have to tell you that the other girls and their families became part of our family. We did so many things together. We traveled to Boston, New York, Las Vegas, Orlando, Germany and to New York again, twice! So many special memories have come of this relationship.

As I watched the dancers on stage I couldn't help but think of the girls who weren't there today. They have grown up and gone on to college or found other interests in high school. They and their families were gone from our lives. I missed them and started to get a little melancholy. Then I changed my focus and started thinking about the blessings I had received over the years.

Time does change all things. I've often thought that life is like a journey. We meet many people along the way. They bless us or they hurt us and then they move on. Part of our satisfaction in life comes from the way we deal with the changes. We can embrace them and learn from them. We can look at them as blessings from God. Or we can let them eat away at us and bring us down. We can sit around and count up the losses and and live with a sense of regret.

I watched the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" tonight and there was a line in there that really hit home. He says this one particular woman taught him the value of friendship when she died and was no longer there. That is what life is all about. We live and learn. I think that is where our faith comes in and is so valuable. It reminds us that God is also walking with us on the journey. He's there and will be with us until the end of our days.

So don't just sit there. Get up and dance.

Cal

Avoiding the pitfalls

Steve saw a pair of cowboy boots sitting on one of the tables downstairs at church and decided he would try them on to see if they fit. So he pulled up a chair and sat down. As he leaned back the chair collapsed under him and he went flying. If he hadn't banged his head, it might have been funny.

As we came running to see what happened, we noticed right away that two of the legs had popped out from under the chair and that was the cause of the calamity. Steve didn't even consider the state of the chair when he decided to try on the boots. All he was thinking about was whether or not the boot would fit.

It made think about the number of times I had rushed into something without thinking about the consequences. We all do it. We focus on something we want without thinking everything through. Most of the time we get away with it because there isn't much at stake. But sometimes there can be disastrous results.

I think that is where the Scriptures come in handy. In his wisdom, God has laid down his statutes in order to save us from making bad mistakes, mistakes that will end up hurting us. When God says don't do something, it comes from a wealth of experience and understand that we don't have. After all, he is the creator. He understands how life works and how fragile we really are.

So we need to think twice before we act. We need to look to the Scriptures to find guidance and direction. That will keep us on the right path and help us avoid unnecessary pain.

Cal

Trust and Obey

I am watching the extras on the Lost Season 4 DVD and I am amazed at all the stuff that goes on behind the scenes to make things look so realistic. For example I would he never guessed that they use so many stunt doubles on the show. Did you know that all of the scenes that are shot in different cities around the world are really shot on the Island? And that Island is Hawaii!

When you watch these extras and see the actors who play the various roles, it gives you a very different view of the show. I don't know if I like it. It is so much easier just to go with the flow and be surprised by the action. How come that isn't true for life?

We want to understand everything that happens to us in real life. We want to know why and how this or that happens. We want to peek behind the curtain and see what the Wizard (God) is doing. We feel if we could just understand the sorrows we face and why they happen, then we could accept them.

I don't think it would make a bit of difference. The truth is that the best way to live life and find happiness is to live with a deep and abiding trust in God. I like that old song Trust and Obey. It says trust and obey, for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey." here is great wisdom in those words.

Cal

Seize the day, at least one of them and see what happens

I was born 18,064 days ago today. I can hardly believe it. It seems forever ago when we measure our lives in terms of days.

After the first few years of life we no longer really think of our lives in terms of days. Days seem too small, too insignificant. We begin to say "next year I want to do this or that." We look back and say "a couple of years ago I used to do ..." As a result we trivialize what can happen in a single day.

Yet the truth is that each day we have the opportunity to change the course of our lives and that of the world around us. The decisions we make today will determine the future. I could give you two decisions in my life that did just that.

The first had to do with my choice of college. I had every intention of going to the University of Southern California. When I got my acceptance letter I was set to go. Of course I had a girlfriend who had other thoughts and a $4,000 tuition bill that I had to account for. In the end I decided to stay home and go to UCONN.

On the day I decided where I was going to college, I changed my future. I have no regrets over my decision today but as I look back on my life, I know that it would have been very different if I had chosen to go west.

A second decision came back in 1985 when I decided to accept the call to the First Baptist Church of Norwich. I had interviewed in four different congregations that Spring. Norwich was third on the list as Lori and I began deliberating where we wanted to go. But it became quite clear soon afterward that this was the place God was calling us. So in March we told the church we were serious and informed the other three that we were no longer interested. The day we made that decision, our future changed.

I have given you two days in my life. Now name your two. We all have those days that define our lives. The truth is that we make decisions every day. We do things that shape who we are every day. We build a life one day at a time. That's why we can start over if we mess up. That's why we can turn around and change direction if we feel a little lost.

I have lived over 18,000 days and I expect I will have at least another 2,000 - 5,000 if I'm lucky. So I'm going to try to do at least one good thing each day and see where that leads me. I bet if I can do it, I will be even happier the next time I check to see how many days I have lived.

Cal

She brightens your day.

I love Amy Grant. I thought I would pass this video on to brighten your evening.

Cal

A strange encounter

I was standing in line waiting to go into the hall for graduation when a second line opened up and my girls heeded the man's instructions and stepped to the line to the left. As I stepped out I heard a voice behind me say something. Then a short little woman sneered at me and said to her friend, "Some people think they are special."

I turned and said, "Excuse me." I wasn't quite sure what had happened. "She ignored me and continued to talk to her friend as if I wasn't there. I apologized and continued to walk but she kept going on and on. I couldn't believe it. So I turned to her and said, "I guess we are all a little excited. You have someone graduating today?" She looked at me and said. "I have no interest in sharing small talk with you. Now get out of my way."

I can tell you that I have never met anyone so rude in my life. I still couldn't believe the encounter fifteen minutes later. I guess that's because even in my wildest dreams, I could never be that rude to anyone I met.

It made me wonder what had happened in her life. She must have been hurt awfully bad. Something must have gone terribly wrong to color her life with such a dark cloud. I guess that is why you and I are needed in this world. My last words to her were simply, "God bless you. I hope you enjoy the graduation." Late last night I thought about that woman again and this time I said I real prayer for her. May she find the peace of God.

Cal

Step back and listen

Everyone has an opinion. Have you noticed that? Ask someone about health care reform, or the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, or the local budget referendum and you will get responses from people that will surprise you. Ask a Democrat about water boarding and you will hear a litany of complaints and charges against the former administration. Ask a Republican about the President's plan to revive the economy and you will hear rants about irresponsibility that will go on forever.

These opinions that we give go way beyond politics. Ask someone in the Northeast if they think the Yankees have a chance to win the World Series and you just might end up hearing a monologue about a team that tries to buy a pennant every year. Red Sox verses Yankee discussions often turn into a full fledged argument that dates back to a feud almost as old as the Hatfields and McCoys.

The truth is that today almost every issue causes people to choose up sides and vilify the other. Abortion, health care, prayer in school, war, taxes, sports, gay marriage, gun licensing, immigration, global warming and everything else under the sun has come up for debate. It is no longer acceptable for one side to reason with the other and come out ahead by a few points. It has become all out war.

If someone doesn't agree with you, they are the enemy. If someone even poses the possibility that there is another way to think about an issue, their loyalty is questioned. I think there is something dreadfully wrong with this.

When I was in college I took an ethics course. I remember the professor saying that any issue could be looked at in at least three different ways ethically. Abortion was the big topic back then. Roe Vs. Wade had just set the standard for legal decision making. As a conservative I didn't want to hear someone tell me how abortion could ever be an ethical choice for a person to make. Yet, he lifted up the cases of incest, rape and the health of the mother. He talked about situational ethics. He noted that sometimes the context for a decision makes all the difference in the world.

It has been nearly thirty years since I took that course. I still believe in absolutes. But that is where my faith comes in and allows me to give some grace when dealing with people in real life, every day situations. Life is tough. Decisions have to be made every day. I don't know too many people who don't struggle with the really tough ones.

It isn't always easy, but I try to listen to people more today. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I try real hard not to make them the enemy. The truth is that I have learned more by engaging people in conversations than I ever did trying to convince them I was right. Maybe we need to listen a bit more instead of always talking. Maybe we need to try and understand the other person, where they are coming from, why they think the way they do before we jump up and judge them.

I think Jesus set the bar for this kind of thinking. First off he took on the form of a human being so that he could walk in our shoes for a while. He wanted to really understand us. Then, even though he did not have any sin, he hung around with sinners and engaged them in conversation. He listened, without judgment. He loved them without conditions. When it was his turn to speak, he told them stories and made suggestions as to a better way to live and think. He reasoned with them. The funny thing is that the only people he ever got mad at were the very ones that he often agreed with theologically. Yet these people just didn't understand the nature of God's grace.

Grace. We need to exercise a little more grace in all our interactions with others. If the world did that, it would be a better place. Maybe people would agree to disagree but still work together for the good of God's creation.

I want to give you an example of one area where I did this. I do not believe the rhetoric around man's contribution to the problem of global warming. (I know there are several of you who want to slap me now for being so silly. I just don't believe the experts who are sounding the alarm. That is a discussion for another day.) Yet in listening to what they say, they have struck a chord with me. I have been convinced that we have a responsibility to be good stewards of this creation and that means we have to come together to do a better job with environmental concerns. So I am on board even if I don't buy into the argument. I am willing to work to make this a more green world. That's just me. Imagine if we all did a little less talking and little more listening. Some great things might be accomplished. Greater understanding could be achieve. We might even find a way to world peace.

So next time you hear someone say something you don't agree with, don't rise up to strike back. Listen and try to understand their point of view. Step into their shoes for a while and then see if you don't have some new insights into finding common ground for the common good.

Cal