A hand out or hold up?

I am a soft touch. I know it. Last night I was guarding the door at a birthday party at the church for my daughter and forty of her closest friends. Yes. It was that kind of a party. We had a DJ and lots of soda, chips, pizza and cake. The kids danced the chicken dance, the hokey pokey and played musical chairs. Being on guard duty at the door was a good place to be.

At about 8:45 p.m. a man walking by saw me and walked up the church. When I told him I was the Pastor he began to tell me a sad story. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. His car had a flat tire and he needed $5 to buy some fix a flat stuff. He was staying in Rhode Island and he had to get home to his daughter who was with a baby sitter. The sitter was leaving for Florida in the morning and he promised her he'd be back early. Now he was in a jam. The guys he was working with, from New Hampshire, didn't have a car so they couldn't pick him up. He tried to get some money from the ready-cash machine but he had just put in his check yesterday and because it was from an out of own bank, they put a hold on it. You get the idea. It was pretty smooth and there was no one else to help him on a Saturday night when everything was closed. By the way, did I mention he told me that his brother was trying to send him some money by Western Union but the system was down.

Wow! I didn't have any money but I went in and borrowed $5 from my daughter. He was on the phone when I came back and that's when he gave me the bad news. The garage man had just looked at his car and it was actually going to be more like $28.50 to fix it because the valve stem was ruined. I asked him who was going to fix it. He told me and then asked for help again because he really needed to get home.

I told him I would see what I could do and then I went in and decided to check out his story. I would call the repair service to see if he was legit. When I opened the phone book I realized he had given me the name of a junk yard. Just to double check myself I ask another dad at the party if he thought the junk yard made repairs at night. He laughed at me.

I felt bad but I went back outside and told the man I couldn't help him. I wasn't mean. I probably should have told him that I didn't believe him but the last time I did that the person got violent and pushed me around a bit. I simply told him that I was sorry for his predicament and that I just couldn't help him. It was true. I didn't have any money on me and there was no cash at church. He seemed unfazed and he was off. The pigeon had left the roost and his con was over.

I think the hardest thing for us to do as Christians is to discern legitimate needs and meet them. The world is full of con artists and deceivers. They play on our compassion and seek to help themselves to what we have. I have to admit that I have been taken more than once. But that's okay with me. You see we are called to be generous and to share with the poor. If someone cons me out of a few dollars, it doesn't rob me of the blessing of giving. God knows who is honest and true and who is not. He'll deal with them in His own way. But I have done the better thing.

I try to do my best to use my resources to do the most good. That means I have to make the decision who to help, and that means checking out their stories and holding them accountable. If I am not sure, then I err on the side of graciousness. Thankfully last night I was only out $5 and a couple pieces of pizza.

Cal